New Year's revolutions
Resolutions don't deliver change, but here's what will...
Let’s begin with a simple fact: The New Year is an arbitrary event. An imaginary line. Even in 2020, a year most of us are desperate to leave behind, this transition is utterly symbolic. It changes nothing, in and of itself. New Year’s Eve will be just another Thursday night, doing its thing, becoming Friday morning.
That said, Friday morning is as good a time as any to start doing things differently.
The question before us today is: How are we going to make 2021 different? Not in the sense of an eventual return back to pre-pandemic normalcy, but rather a significant and meaningful step forward in the direction of freedom and justice, presence and peace, joy, love and yes, success. For ourselves and our loved ones, for our communities and the wider world.
Oh. Were you planning to make 2021 the year you finally lose those last 10 pounds? Sorry, this is not that kind of post. Read on anyway.
How change gets made
I think a lot about change. Ok, maybe it’s all I think about. It’s what I do for a living: Help people, teams and businesses not only cope with and navigate change, but shape and lead it.
Here’s the #1 misconception I encounter on the subject:
Change happens when we set a goal and work toward it.
Sounds obvious, right? But it doesn’t actually work that way.
Exhibit A: The time-honored tradition of the new year resolution. Every January 1, we turn the page on a fresh new year by setting a well-considered goal that is important to us, that we think will make us happier or healthier. And yet studies show only 46% of resolutions are still on-track in June and only 8% make it to December.
Productivity, fitness and lifehack bloggers will tell you the key is follow-through: Track progress, get support, have patience, accept setbacks. In other words, just keep going. There’s nothing wrong with this advice if you’re looking to lose those last 10 pounds, but it’s not enough to sustain health and wellness in the long term.
If we want to change in a significant and meaningful way…
If we want to evolve as a person and increase our impact…
If we are committed to being the change, then simply setting a goal is not going to get us there.
From doing to being
The whole point of a goal is to get you from A to B. But inherent in this simple equation is a fundamental problem: You have to know what B is in order to get there.
From a change perspective, this kind of certainty is limiting. Even if you set your sights high—getting your dream job, for example—you are still confined to the bounds of your own imagination. The same linear thinking that drives your ambition makes you likely to miss opportunities that are arising all around you. Then, when circumstances or priorities shift, as they tend to, you think you’ve fallen off course.
So if the trajectory of the typical goal begets tunnel vision, what’s the alternative?
A goal is a desired future state. It is outside you, beyond you. Perhaps you see it as a “better” you. It’s about the doing.
An intention, on the other hand, is a quality practiced continually. It is within you, it takes you forward. It’s about the being. A powerful intention deeply practiced doesn’t yield a better you so much as a truer you… and a better world.
Examples: Shifting from [goal] to [intention]
From losing weight to Vitality
From reading more books to Exploration
From saving money to Enough
From taking more vacation to Rest
From getting my dream job to Service
How can an intention deliver degrees of change a new year’s resolution wouldn’t dare dream of?
Your intention is always on. It’s an active, continual practice, not an occasional exertion of willpower. Goal: lose weight by working out more and skipping dessert. Intention: practice Vitality in how I move, stretch, shop, cook, eat, work and rest.
Your intention is portable. It goes everywhere with you: to work, back home, at play, in your community, with friends and especially in the privacy of your own lovely mind. Goal: read more books. Intention: practice Exploration through deep listening and learning in conversation with colleagues, friends and family.
Your intention is adaptive. It can meet any moment. It will shift as the circumstances do. What is a setback in the context of a goal is an opportunity to practice intention. Goal: put 20% of each paycheck in savings. Intention: practice having Enough even when I leave my job, finding richness in life’s simple pleasures.
Your intention is expansive. It is not limited by your imagination, but instead offers a wide lens for greater opportunity awareness. Goal: take an amazing vacation. Intention: find moments each day to Rest and restore my energy, balancing the demands of daily life.
Your intention is generous. It’s not just for you, it’s a gift you give everyone around you. Goal: Get my dream job. Intention: practice being of Service, putting my gifts to use every chance I get.
Your intention is transformative. It will stack up small shifts into major change.
A powerful intention deeply practiced doesn’t yield a better you so much as a truer you… and a better world.
Simple ways to practice your 2021 intention
Reminders: Write your intention down and post in places you’ll see it. Think bathroom mirror, laptop sticky note, calendar alerts, etc.
Research: Study up on the origins of this word/quality, who studies it (there’s an expert on everything) and how to cultivate it.
Roadmap: How can this intention show up in various areas of your life? What does it look like in regard to your health, work, community, etc.?
Relationships: Tell your special people about it and look for small ways to apply it in these relationships.
Rebound: You won’t always act on this intention. When you make a misstep, take a deep breath, give yourself a hug and try again.
Reflect: Notice progress! Start a journal. Set a date with yourself each week/month to look back and recognize the impact of your intentional practice.
I’d love to know: What intention are you bringing with you into 2021? Tag me @kristenlisanti if you share it on social, or drop it in the comments below.
Recent Posts:
It wasn't the New Year for me, but something I have started during my 5-week vacation I took from work. I was going to completely clean my house and declutter it during that time and on New Year's Day, I would have a Marie Kondo approved home. But that didn't happen. But I have done things to make it better. Lots of them. Many parts of the house are in much better shape. And I just get on top of things faster. My intention is to not let my stuff pile up too much. Find a home for something within 48 hours.