In relationship to change

Which has everything to do with how you see yourself

Change is hard for all of us. Even if we’ve chosen the change for ourselves.

But especially when we haven’t. It’s especially hard when it’s happening *to* us. Then it becomes more than a change... it becomes a threat.

Some of us can roll with this. Some of us drive change and some embrace it — change management theory calls these folks “innovators” and “early adopters.” They are a small but influential minority, who see change as inherently good.

Most of us fall into the “early majority” (who require proof) and “late majority” (who require minimal friction and lots of support). These will be converted by the early adopters.

But some of us are “laggards.” And with laggards, the issue is not that they won’t change. It’s not that they can’t change.

The issue is that their very sense of self depends on their standing — stiff, screaming and/or cynical — in opposition to change. The change itself is incidental. Aversion to change is their identity.

I’ve learned not to focus on the laggards. They will not be converted. An agent of change is their adversary. They‘ll only come around when they have no other choice.

We can still care for them.

We can still design our change to meet their core needs.

But don’t lose sleep if they don’t understand you. It’s not about you at all.