How change (really) happens
It’s never a straight line
This is my ode to change, its immense complexity and infinite potential. I’m endlessly fascinated by change but also by how we continually misunderstand it.
Whatever change you’re trying to lead right now—whether to transform your team, to restructure a system or simply to live your life more fully—it may be helpful to remember that change doesn’t work the way we expect it to.
Nope. Sorry. That never happens. Ever.
Are any of these stories showing up in your relationship to change right now?
Things will never change.
I can’t make a difference.
It’s supposed to be easier than this.
If I can just fix all these problems…
It’s us versus them!
Once I change their minds, it’ll work out.
Everyone needs to be onboard…
…Especially the people with the most power.
We just need the right plan!
This change can’t happen fast enough.
Or perhaps there’s another story or belief in the mix. Can you notice it now?
Don’t worry too much about these stories being right or wrong, true or false. Instead, notice how you react to this story. How does your body respond when you believe it? Is there tightness or ease? What happens to your mind, to your thinking? Is there openness and creativity or righteousness and rigidity?
*NEW* Let me know in the comments:
Which of these stories about change could use a shift?
Does this post offer you a new way of thinking about it?
What questions does it raise for you?
I’m excited to hear your perspective—I’ll engage with everyone who shares and I encourage you to chime in with support and solidarity for one another too. Please do so with kindness and generosity, this is a judgment-free zone.
My friends, leading change can be lonely work. Though we may work in different organizations, industries or countries, we transformational leaders are all in this together. I’m hoping to use this space to connect us to one another, starting today.
This week
Today in the States we celebrate the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., whose transformational leadership can inform and inspire ours. His courageous work changed the world even as it showed us how much more it needs to change.
On his path he must have encountered many of the limiting stories listed above, but we know he found in nonviolent direct action deep truths about how change really happens and that this—together with his faith—sustained his work even under threat of death.
We honor his memory not by taking the day off, but by joining in his work to bring power and love together in the service of a more just world, and specifically toward an end to racism, militarism and poverty. Wherever you are, this can be your work too:
Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.
―Martin Luther King Jr.
A question that comes up for me (someone who typically feels adaptable, curious and excited by change) is how much do I REALLY embody what it takes? Am I REALLY walking the walk and taking the talk? Historically, I am a fixer. There was this crazy pressure I’d put upon myself to make things right and “help” others. My personal work over the last year has been letting that go. And it is crazy hard. So this post was a great opportunity for me to honestly reflect on where I’m at today, verses yesterday, with my relationship to change. The good news is that I feel lighter, stronger and more empowered, but I know the work will never stop. And that has me fired up.
I love the diagram! Especially the prompt that change is an exploration not a fix. Many of the ‘stories’ you cited feel so familiar - it’s the top-down approach to change/management that’s been modelled and many of us have fallen into. I just read a book - The Power of Giving Power Away by Matthew Barzun - your diagram and it’s emphasis on flexibility and collaboration very much align with what’s described in the book. It’s so exciting to see new ways of leading and influencing being explored and shared.