You’re powerful—deal with it
(Here’s how)
Last week looked at our relationship to power: Do we see ourselves as powerful? Where does our power come from? Is power even something we want?
For years, my answer to this last one was a definitive no.
After the visualization exercise that left me rattled all those years ago, I joined several of my colleagues for lunch. We were enrolled in a yearlong mindfulness teacher training at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center, and our cohort represented the fields of education, medicine, psychology, social work and the arts, as well as business. Over sandwiches, my companions were excited to share what they’d found in the imaginary boxes in their metaphorical forests, and the needs those objects pointed to: a blanket representing self-care, a lamp of wisdom, a candelabra signifying community… Noble and beautiful reflections, all.
When it was my turn, I mumbled, “Ugh, mine was a scepter. Very weird. Power is the last thing I want or need.”
But on that particular day I was sitting next to Dawn Bazarko, the founder and CEO of Moment Health, an organization within UnitedHealth Group dedicated to mindfulness training for healthcare professionals. A powerful woman indeed.
“What’s wrong with power?” Dawn asked me. “Without power, we’d never get anything done.”
In the conversation that followed, my perspective on power flipped. My scepter wasn’t a tool for ruling over others—it was a call to leadership. A symbol of inner strength that I needed to figure out how to wield. Power wasn’t something to fear, nor was it something to want. It was something I already had, and it was time to embrace it.
Today, my scepter is still with me, but I don’t hold it in my hand. When I sit in meditation, I envision my spine as that golden staff, dripping with jewels and emanating a power that I gratefully step into and joyfully share.
Friend, however you feel about it, you do have power. The power to make decisions in your role. The power of influence in your relationships. The power to stand up for what you believe is right. This week, let’s practice skillfully balancing the power we already possess.
This Week
Where are you denying your power? This might look like not taking responsibility for your part of a conflict, project or relationship. It might sound like assumptions, excuses or complaints—why is this happening to me? It may seem like this is how it is, it will never change when change is exactly what’s required.
Where are you hoarding power? Maybe you’re someone who insists on control and micromanages your team, but I’m willing to bet for many of you it looks more like the hero complex—swooping in to save your team when something goes wrong, intending to protect them but depriving them of responsibility (and power) in the process.
In these moments, what would it mean to strike a balance between stepping into your power and sharing power with others? Here are a few strategies to consider:
Take full responsibility for your role and hold others fully accountable for theirs
Use your voice to create space for marginalized voices
Welcome the problems your team brings up and ask questions that engage them in co-creating solutions with you
Offer feedback generously, but begin by asking for your colleague’s thoughts on their strengths and opportunities for growth
In a conflict or brainstorm, bring your best ideas but be ready to let them go to find a resolution that meets everyone’s needs
Like any meaningful practice, we’ll never be done with this balancing act. Every situation is different, each requires us to wield our power in new ways, and often we are leaning too far in one direction or the other.
But that’s a good thing. Because more we practice, the more power we have access to.
And the more good we can do with it.