What I do with “no”
I’m only getting started
If you are leading any kind of change in your organization, community or system, you can expect to hear “no” early and often. I certainly do. It goes with the gig.
Resistance is a natural human response to change. As flexible and resilient as we are, we are also wired to seek security and certainty. The status quo seems safer than the unknown, so change of any kind is experienced as a risk, a loss or a threat. Given the choice, the vast majority of people will say “no” first.
This will never work/succeed/be accepted.
We aren’t ready/equipped/interested.
This is too fast/different/risky.
It’s important to listen carefully to the “no.” What is behind it? A misunderstanding? An unspoken fear? A need that hasn’t been addressed?
As transformational leaders, wherever we find a “no,” there is something for us to learn. And if we can learn that something, we are less likely to hear that same “no” again.
This week
Bring to mind one “no” you’re hearing in your work right now. This might be a single incident (a colleague or client declining a proposal you’ve made) or a larger pattern (a whole system resisting a necessary change).
Look at your own response to the “no.” If you are defensive, dejected or busy blaming the naysayers, you are missing out on valuable information. Get curious about what there is to learn here.
Analyze any available data. Consider who is the “no” coming from and what you know about them. Look at the context and contributing factors—pressures, priorities, preferences, etc. Accept and respect any feedback that came with the “no.”
Dig deeper with questions, whether for yourself or others. What is the core issue for this person or group? What do they need? What are they worried about? How can I more effectively address those needs and worries? How do they need to hear it?
Try again, from a new angle. Or with a stronger pitch. Or with a different person or group altogether. It’s best not to invest too much of your precious time and energy trying to convert intractable naysayers. Regroup and re-energize with your early adopters, and map your next steps together.
Just don’t stop. When it comes to leading change, “no” is never the end of the conversation. You’re only getting started.