What gets me in trouble
It’s not what I think, it’s what I think
As a leader, it’s natural to think we are supposed to have the answers to the questions and challenges we face every day. It feels like that’s the job description—being the one who knows. Or at least the one who can decide. Our teams certainly look to us for answers, solutions and decisions. So do our bosses.
So, the thinking goes: If I don’t have the answer, I won’t be ok. There will be trouble. I’m supposed to know.
What happens when we believe this thought?
Here’s my personal experience. Does it resonate with yours?
I become reactive (vs responsive) to the situation.
I rush my decision-making.
I jump to conclusions based on assumptions.
I default to obvious or safe answers.
I stay at the surface of the issue.
I exclude other perspectives.
I make avoidable mistakes.
I say things I regret.
I break more than I fix.
In the comments: Where in your life and leadership do you think you’re supposed to be the one who knows? What happens when you believe that thought?
This week
Look for where you’re buying into the thought that I’m supposed to know. Choose one situation, project or relationship for which this feels especially true right now.
Instead of trying to talk yourself out of it—sorry, we don’t get rid of unhelpful thoughts and beliefs that easy—ask yourself:
How would I feel without this thought?
Notice any emotional response. Is there confusion? Fear? Relief?
Observe your physical response. Is there a nervous belly? A deep breath? A tightening? A release?
Now you might ask yourself:
How might I respond if I didn’t think I’m supposed to know?
Here’s my personal experience. Does it resonate with yours?
I get curious about what I don’t yet know.
I take the time to think.
I look for data and evidence to guide me.
I allow myself to be surprised.
I explore the greater context and root causes of the issue.
I embrace other perspectives.
I listen.
I learn.
We find more complete answers and solutions that are more likely to work, and we do it together.
From the community
Building on last week’s theme of making time, community member Lisa Shires created a time awareness tool and is generously offering it at no cost to subscribers of The Lead. Here is the official version (US$7) and here’s the free version just for you. Thank you, Lisa!