We Can Change… what we can’t control
Control is an illusion…but agency abounds
“It’s hard to bring lasting change,” said a friend who works at a prominent nonprofit, “when all I have is influence, but no real control.”
“I don’t have control over my people anymore,” one senior executive said in a recent focus group, “and I need to get it back.”
“I know what needs to happen,” said a leader I was coaching, “but operations are out of my control.”
We all yearn for a sense of control, particularly in times of change. Yet it remains so elusive it’s practically imaginary.
The thing is, even when dealing with undesirable circumstances, we almost always have more agency than we think we do. But we get so hung up on everything we can’t control that we lose sight of what’s possible, and what we can do about it.
We get so hung up on everything we can’t control that we lose sight of what’s possible.
What? / How? / What Now?
A few years ago, I started working with a simple framework to help me remember and leverage the agency I do have, both professionally and personally. And now, I share it with my clients to help them shift out of a reactive relationship to change, and into a creative one.
Here’s how it works. Think of a change you’re facing in your work or life. Now, consider this change through these three dimensions:
We can use these three dimensions whether we’re driving the change or receiving it. And the How is the crux—our choice of how we engage informs everything that comes after.
Let’s look at how What?/How?/What Now? applies to a few real-world cases, starting with a situation many managers are facing today:
And here’s the one making headlines this week (and how to do it right):
On a personal level:
And finally, on a societal level: Today is Election Day here in the States. There will likely be good news and bad news, and much that feels out of control. But this is another opportunity for us to be intentional with How we meet Whatever unfolds… and What Now will come as a result.
In the meantime, it’s not too late to influence the What.
Get out there. Bring your family. Tell your friends.
Vote.