We Can Change… through giving thanks

99 things I’m thankful for

This week the U.S. celebrates Thanksgiving, a complicated holiday with mythological origins in which families gather together to overeat a meal starring a main dish no one actually likes.

The best part of Thanksgiving—besides this stuffing—is its emphasis on gratitude. Despite the abundant evidence that giving thanks is good for our mental, physical, spiritual and even business health, we spend more of our time focusing on what’s wrong that what’s wonderful in our lives. So it’s helpful to have an occasion to reflect on all that we have to be thankful for.

The root of joy is gratefulness... It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.

—Brother David Steindl-Rast

For this week’s newsletter, I’m inviting you into my own gratitude practice. As an experiment, I sat down and wrote a list of 99 things I’m grateful for. It was as rewarding as I’d hoped and far easier than I’d expected. In no particular order…

1. The seasons, especially Spring and Autumn

2. Long walks alone in the forest

3. Being in good health at the moment

4. The health challenges that taught me how precious life is

5. Health care professionals, especially the doctors, nurses and staff at Memorial Sloan Kettering

6. Books, particularly the three I’m reading right now

7. The right to vote

8. My first therapist

9. My latest therapist

10. The ocean

11. The amazing machine I’m typing this on

12. The amazing machine you’re reading this on

13. My (public school) education

14. That job I didn’t get

15. The business I’m building

16. Peonies

17. Being mom to my kiddo

18. Being married to my best friend

19. Matcha green tea in the morning

20. Mindfulness meditation

21. My sister

22. My dog, Mo, who is always at my side

23. All dogs everywhere, come to think of it

24. A bath

25. Vaccines

26. The banana bread at my local bakery

27. The quality of the air the day after it rains

28. The friends I’ve known for 25 years

29. The work of Layla Saad, Nicole Cardoza, Ijeoma Oluo and other antiracism educators

30. Lilacs

31. The miracle of air travel

32. My parents

33. Finally having the maturity and equanimity to include my parents on this list

34. The teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh

35. The music of The Beatles

36. The internet

37. The ability to stand, walk, run and swim

38. My community pool

39. Having friends on every continent

40. Poetry

41. Forgiveness

42. A perfectly cooked egg

43. Chickens

44. A good puzzle

45. A good night’s sleep

46. Reasonably good vision

47. Having clean water to drink

48. Having healthy food to eat

49. The great leaders I’ve been fortunate to work with

50. The not-great leaders I’ve managed to learn from

51. Flannel pajamas

52. Darkest chocolate

53. A cozy fire

54. The night sky

55. Beyoncé

56. The shelter and refuge of my home

57. The fact that my houseplants are (mostly) still alive

58. Cozy blankets like the one I’m sitting under now

59. Soft sweaters

60. Warm socks

61. Alpaca

62. The courageous kindness of Mr. Rogers

63. The entire state of California

64. Living in New Jersey, and being so close to New York City

65. Snow skiing

66. Bees

67. Notion

68. March Madness

69. Loving kindness

70. Mexican food

71. The teachings of the Buddha

72. The lessons I’ve learned from my many mistakes

73. Lotus flowers

74. The ducks and turtles at the local pond

75. Knowing CPR

76. Knowing how to read

77. Knowing I am loved

78. Knowing who my friends are

79. Finally knowing I don’t have to know everything

80. Mushrooms

81. Our wonderful and supportive neighbors

82. The impressive and inspiring women in my life

83. Not peaking in high school

84. Living long enough to learn to love myself

85. Butterflies and dragonflies

86. Museums and libraries

87. Reading with my son every night before bedtime

88. Dancing in the kitchen

89. Singing in the car

90. Waking up to birds singing

91. Waking up period

92. Smiles from strangers

93. Pistachio gelato

94. Acupuncture

95. The smell of freshly cut grass

96. Redwoods

97. Dim sum

98. Greta Thunberg

99. Being alive

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Give it a try. Include the little things as well as the big things. Notice how it feels—good feelings like appreciation as well as tougher feelings like guilt or judgment. One thing that happens when we practice gratitude is that all of our other, more familiar habitual tendencies come rushing in as well. That’s ok. If you can see them, you can set them aside, just for a moment. A moment is all you need to pause and look for the good.

And there is so much good.

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