We Can Change… the Pace

I struggle with this too

Well, it finally happened. After managing to avoid it all this time, Covid has hit House Lisanti. (We’re doing fine, no need for concern.)

It’s been an opportunity for me to re-learn a lesson I am usually championing for others: Slow down. You don’t have to move this fast. It isn’t serving you to push this hard. Taking more time, creating more space, is good for you and good for the work.

Intellectually, I know this to be true. But that does mean I always remember it, and I certainly don’t always live it. When we initially tested positive—and I was dealing with fatigue and body aches—I pushed my client meetings back two days. Two days!

First, I noticed that the simple act of emailing people to reschedule was physically exhausting. Then, a friend reminded me that what I needed most was “Big time rest and sleep. Like, more than you think you need.” (Thank you Meredith.) The next day, I finally did the reasonable and responsible thing and canceled my whole week.

Friends, the stories in my mind were wild! You can’t put this person off, he’s very important. Can you afford to lose momentum on this project? Will your clients feel neglected? You know this means you’ll actually lose money this week, right?!

Sigh. There it is. Grind culture, the need to please, the scarcity myth. And how deeply I’ve internalized them all.

Of course, out here in reality, my clients were more than understanding—they were supportive and loving. One gently chided me for being too worried about a week’s delay, another offered to send us matzo ball soup. Everyone happily rescheduled and wished me well.

More importantly was what happened within me: The moment I decided to take real space to heal, the tide of anxiety receded and in flowed kindness, compassion and care for myself and my family. I committed to rest as a rule, choosing no and not doing anything I possibly could.

Then some amazing things happened:

• I realized I actually felt relief about a commitment I’d had to cancel, and realized I’d said yes out of perceived obligation vs. excitement and alignment.

• I woke up at 3:45 a.m. Thursday morning, not with anxiety or body aches but with ideas and a clarity of insight I haven’t been able to access as my day-to-day business (and busyness) set the pace and took up space in my brain.

• I have remembered that this is my natural baseline: being at ease, spacious and open. I am not a sprinter (and none of us is built to sprint continuously), I am a sitter, an explorer, a guide. Sure, I can move fast, but that’s not the point. And there’s a direct cost:

If BLUE represents the cultural/corporate norm, YELLOW is where I’ve been this week. I tend to swing wildly between these points, and I aspire to be in the GREEN—not a fixed point but a dance toward dynamic equilibrium.

Just as my healing requires stillness and space, so does my life and my work. I’m willing to bet yours does too. Innumerable invisible forces within us and around us conspire to make us forget, so I for one will take every reminder I can get.

My wish for you this week is three-fold: Be well. Be safe. Be still.

As for me, it’s time for a nap.

“One of the reasons I have to take distinct breaks when I work is to allow the momentum of a particular direction to run down, so that another one can establish itself.”
– Brian Eno, via SwissMiss