We Can Change… independence to interdependence
Reflections on my first year of working for myself
I’m writing this on July 4, or as it’s known here in the States where I live: Independence Day. In a happy coincidence, it also happens to be the day—one year ago—I went out on my own as a coach and trainer of transformational leaders.
[scroll down for a few highlights from my annual report]
In honoring both occasions, though, I’m immediately confronted with the inaccuracy or inadequacy of the term “independence,” which Merriam-Webster defines as:
not dependent: such as (a) not subject to control by others, self-governing; (b) not requiring or relying on something else, not contingent; (c) not looking to others for one’s opinions or for guidance in conduct; (d) showing a desire for freedom.
Like my country, I may tell myself I’m self-governing, that I don’t require or rely on anyone else, that I don’t care about other people’s opinions… and indeed I did tell myself these stories for many years. Independence was a core value, perhaps the core value, of my life. It seemed to me that if I could just be on my own, separate myself from everyone else’s mess, then I could have peace. Then I could be free.
It turns out independence really is not just a story—it’s a myth. Everything in life is connected to and dependent on everything else, and I am certainly no exception. I’ve learned this intellectually through the Buddhist teachings on dependent arising, and I’ve learned it experientially (aka the hard way) by trying to exert my independence over and over, personally and professionally, and finding pain and frailty where I’d hoped for peace and freedom. Just like my country.
Starting this business as a solopreneurship has been another chance to learn this lesson. On the one hand, I have reveled in the autonomy and creativity available to me. I set my own purposeful vision. I create work that aligns to my values. I limit my client/coaching availability to 4 days per week. I’ve never been happier.
But that doesn’t make me independent. In fact, my dependencies have multiplied—from one employer to many clients, from a small team to a broad network of partners and collaborators. I need them as much (if not more) than they need me, and we benefit each other in myriad wonderful ways.
Today, I experience this interdependence as an expansion, not a limitation, of myself.
The beauty and power of interdependence reveals itself in the intimacy of deep coaching conversations, in the vulnerability of team alignment sessions, in the energy of speaking engagements and culture trainings. This is where change happens—in relationship, in the spaces we co-create to do our work together, in the influence and impact we have on one another.
This is where we become free, together.
“Nature moves in small fractals of interdependence, accumulating nonlinear changes and creating more possibilities with the constant adaptations of a resilient earth.”
Annual Report: Year 1
400 hours of executive coaching
30 leaders coached to develop their high-touch and high-impact skills
10 teams aligned around a purposeful vision and intentional ways of working
8 groups trained on topics related to culture, change and conflict
1 course piloted (sign up to be notified when registration opens for ARC’s fall cohort!)
33% increase in subscribers to We Can Change
Revenue: I came close to the equivalent of my previous base salary in revenue, and exceeded my previous take-home pay in profit. (Sharing this for anyone feeling nervous about the financial viability of setting up shop as a coach or consultant.)
Growth: 100% organic! All new business came in via referral and most of my client relationships started small (e.g. coaching for a couple leaders) and grew from there.
Impact: A few of my favorite pieces of feedback from this first year:
“Kristen showed me there are different ways to lead, that I get a lot further working with my colleagues versus pushing against them.” (client) “It’s been fun to watch. I’m seeing you show up differently. You’re no longer trying to prove yourself, no longer rolling your eyes at people who frustrate you. I see it working, and other people are noticing it too.” (client’s boss in coaching debrief session)
“I cannot tell you how invaluable our time together has been for my journey so far. The progress is real. I woke up feeling far more energized and aligned and it is down to your methodology and genuine care.” (executive coaching)
“I wanted to let you know we thought our session with you was fantastic. We had a lot of great feedback on how important that time was to help us connect and create more trust as a team.” (executive team alignment)
“You make me/us so much better. Thank you.” (executive coaching + team alignment)
“We’re so grateful you are on this journey with us, helping us build an incredibly strong culture! Your insights and guidance have been invaluable to our leaders and the entire organization.” (culture design in a merger)
“The speaker was my favorite part of the session. Her explanation of culture as an ecosystem where every single organism (us) has an impact was very clear. It was easy for me to visualize and understand. The culture of a company is a huge reason why people stay or leave.” (speaking engagement on culture)
“Ten minutes into your talk, my mind was blown. You have helped me rethink my entire approach to leading change in my role.” (speaking engagement on change)
“I’ve been so wise over these past few weeks, sharing everything I’m learning in ARC with my team. I even made a structural shift inspired by our systems thinking module, and my team is already working differently. It’s been hugely practical and is making a difference for me every day.” (ARC participant)
“Immediately I’m feeling more resilient. ARC renewed my attitude and efforts to change in an environment that is change-adverse.” (ARC participant)
It’s been an incredible first year full of discovery and learning, and I’m so looking forward to seeing how the work continues to evolve in year two. For now, it’s time to hit pause—not on the business, which continues to grow, but on this newsletter. I’m taking my usual summer sabbatical from posting and publishing to do more listening and learning, more being and breathing. We’ll be back in September.
Friends, thank you for being a part of this work and this journey. It’s work we all share, after all, and a journey we are on together. I’m grateful for you.
Have a sweet summer.