A culture of happiness is oppressive

Ellen got it wrong on day one

Can you spot the red flag in the first line of Ellen's apology note to her team?

She wrote: "On day one of our show, I told everyone in our first meeting that The Ellen DeGeneres Show would be a place of happiness — no one would ever raise their voice, and everyone would be treated with respect."

It's that most positive of words: happiness. In the world of organizational culture, envisioning "a place of happiness" is a recipe for unreasonable expectations, weaponized values, toxic leadership and inequitable outcomes.

Why? Because happiness is a feeling, and it's fleeting. It's great when it happens, but it is not something we can (or should) sustain at all times. We will have moments of real and valid UNhappiness, and those need to be faced, understood and addressed as openly as possible. A culture of "happiness" silences other experiences and perspectives, especially of those without power.

Let's create "places of realness" instead, where we can vocalize pain as well as joy, share frustration as well as appreciation, and recognize failure as well as triumph.

In other words, the full human experience. We don't stop being complex human beings when we come to work. Insisting otherwise is a privilege none of us can afford.